MY FASCINATING FINDS

INTERESTING PEOPLE

Hello people, greetings from home. This is me giving myself time for a proper recovery from a devastating illness. I appreciate life more now.

This is a continuation of My Fascinating Finds, bringing you into my world of observation, ideas and experiences. If you are reading my publication for the first time, please sign up with your email to get my newsletters. You can check through all my publications to understand what I do.

Today you will find out what makes interesting people and why we may find it a bit difficult to articulate our interests.

INTERESTING PEOPLE

When I want to have a conversation with someone I do not know so well, I ask them what their interests are. As an introvert, it is extremely important to me that I ask this question. This is because I find it easier to bond over clear, cogent topics than ephemeral small talk. But nine out of ten times, the replies I get are just ramblings and sometimes, nothing. This was disturbing. I couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much...until now.

Before I go on, here is a tiny practical tip to use for your writing and other creative processes;

ONE TIP: DEVELOPING AN IDEA

While writing to develop an idea, shove your excitement aside. The excitement that comes with a new idea is an impediment to the rigor and brutality needed to develop that idea into a finished product. You can apply this to any other creative habit. Quit the sentiment for your virgin ideas and be ruthless in production.

Moving on…

I have to admit that we all have subjective attempts at describing the qualities of an interesting person. These qualities include humor, flexibility, spontaneity, and a surprising addition, vision. But whatever quality you may name, it is a fact that interesting people are rare. Whatever it is, we can agree that the common quality of interesting people is the presence of life. When you are with them, life is colorful, dreamy, and possible. Interesting people are alive.

So, to frame the question better, I'd ask it as "why are they alive?" Well, let's find out.

TWO WORDS: INTEREST AND STORY

Stories are for everyone but interests define interesting people.

Because we all have experiences, we all have stories. We huddle around people who tell good stories about their experiences. But we experience something different when someone tells diverse stories that are laced with a traceable theme. The traceable theme is an indicator of someone's interests. The interest gives context and direction. Humor, flexibility, and spontaneity are added effects. Let's see how this works.

We know a person's story is interesting when he doesn't just give us the action, but how he arrived at the point of action. A person's interests are like a steering wheel, a compass, a map, yet an anchor. It gives the story direction. It provides the context of experience. It brings us into his world by revealing to us the context of how they got to where they are. And in this, is the spirit of good storytelling.

If you have met anyone who has a strong interest in tech, travelling, fashion, music or even Ultron, you would know that to them it is not merely a hobby. To these people, it is a severe case of love meeting duty. The strong interest drives them into learning things that are beyond the surface. They dig deep and reach wide. The tremendous effort to get the best of what gives them joy explains why they may be flexible, spontaneous, versatile and unhidden. Let's do case studies.

CASE STUDY: FUN BOBBY

In the second season of Friends, and its tenth episode (The One with Russ), Monica starts dating Fun Bobby again. Fun Bobby was really fun to be with.

You could describe Fun Bobby as an alcoholic. But I prefer to describe him as someone who loved to drink. He went to places to drink. He left his home for places where he knew he would get a drink. He always left home with a drink. He always opened his stories with “I was so wasted once,” or “so I woke up with a hangover,” and the stories were good. But what happened when Monica dissuaded him from alcohol and persuaded him to abstain? Fun Bobby became (as Chandler named him), Ridiculously Dull Bobby (R.D Bobby). R.D Bobby could not even pull a joke. He still had his stories no doubt. But his stories were dead without the goal of drinking to keep them alive. When his interest for alcohol was restrained, the fun in him died. Kill the interest, numb the story.

CASE STUDY 2: BARNEY STINTSON

How I Met Your Mother is a great show (this is me ignoring its atrocious ending). I am sure that Barney. J. Stintson was a fan favorite.

So B.J Stintson was a sociopath. But that didn't stop him from being a funny, versatile dude. If you knew about 'The Playbook,' you know that he was flexible, spontaneous, and visionary. Barney was interesting.

Barney's weird interest was to 'score chicks.' Weird interest as it may be, it gave Barney his life, his pursuit, his awesomeness, and imagination. What happened in his first committed relationship with Robin? He became fat-blobbing. Pathetic.

Bobby and Barney may be weird, immoral, even disgusting examples, but they drive the point home. The point is that when you meet someone you consider interesting, you would in overt or covert ways, pick up what their interests are. You will know why they tick and why they are alive.

THREE CHARACTERS

This essay may seem like I am changing the definition of interesting to be more inclusive of natural introverts. Well, I admit my bias and I intend to double down. I will make it worse by saying that we shall no longer conflate the word 'interesting' with the word 'sociable.' Hear me out.

Extroverts are mostly sociable people. They can take on the party at the first try. No real effort, just emitting vibes. But does that mean introverts cannot be interesting? They can be, and they are.

Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character. But the dude is introverted, knowledgeable, smug, and antisocial. This does not make him less interesting. Anyone who ever worked with Sherlock on a case was blown away by the man's genius. And they all wanted a second experience even if it meant them getting spat at. That is interesting enough for me.

Sheldon Cooper is a fictional character. Emotionally inept, science genius, unable to understand sarcasm, and yet interesting. What was his interest? Knowledge of things and making theories to explain how things work. No wonder he was a theoretical physicist. I found him very interesting. The people in his life were probably frustrated at one point or the other, but he had something that kept them coming again and again. He was interesting.

Ted Bundy was a real-time psychopath. He attracted the best ladies (and murdered them), he was a brilliant man, well desired. He made his interests clear; he was interested in people. No wonder, he was fascinating.

THE PROBLEM OF ARTICULATION

Interests are solid. Indecisive people are not interesting. Interesting people know what they love and what they want. They are always on the move in the direction of what they want. The feeling of being on a constant move is a thrill, a blood-pump of life that everyone wants to be associated with. Life is an adventure, and a life of interests assures you endless ones.

Then why can't I articulate my interests?

Because you are afraid. 

You don't need words to articulate your interests, you need courage. We shrivel at telling our interests because it is unpopular, laughable, or straight up unrelatable. Kick all that aside. You don't need anyone else to love it except for you. People come and go, but your interest is an extension of you.

Say it out anyways. Forget who laughs; they don't matter. Just start building. Start creating. Start rebranding what you love in a light that will make you love it better. If eventually, you have created out of the dark, people will be drawn to your light. Build mental fortitude, get courage. Then articulate your interests.

CONCLUSION

The most important factor that points to your interest is that even if others around you can't see why you love what you do, you love it. You find it interesting, fascinating, and exciting. Joining with others may increase the excitement, but even when isolated, you savor it. That is your interest.

Having worked out what it means to be interesting, I make my message to you the reader clear; Find your interest, stick with it, build around it, and when in doubt, create. Create your own world.

Thank you for reading Busyminds, and this is My Fascinating Finds.